My Perfect Home

My perfect home. Beautifully designed architecture, perfectly carved windows surrounded by fluttering curtains and flowers. The faint sound of the adults partying and playing after dark. The strong yet far away sense of safety and security internally engraved into my soul. The strong aroma of my mama's cooking, our traditional Polish dishes baking on our clean stove. All those sweet, trauma-stained memories burned into my mind as I lay awake in my cold bed, my mattress not sympathetic to any injuries it may cause. How my family deeply dreams of the distant chance of a perfect home to reside in. I shut my weary eyes once more and fall into a paralyzing sleep through the dark night. I continue to think of my perfect home in the back of my mind, attempting to push away all worry, regret, and fear yet I still let it happen. I began to visualize... The sight of clean brand-new discounted furniture with the clean windows pouring in moonlight, the windows slightly open with the sound of calming rain from the garden. I can vividly hear my downstairs neighbors walking around and moving into their new home. I can taste my tears falling into my mouth- wait! I am not crying in this world. I cannot take it anymore! I rush to open my eyes and curl up in a tight, strangling ball in my bed as I sob and sob over my false reality. Except to my surprise, when I look at my surroundings, I am there. I am in my happy house. I sit up, embracing the false hallucinations of my dream. This is now my false yet true reality. The home I must learn to accept, the old one I must forget and demolish. I am in the now, not the then. I am here. Yet never there. In my perfect home. Habitat for Humanity makes homes for people in need, whether they are homeless or the home they are in is simply not safe. Habitat for Humanity wants to help children and families get the life they always deserved in the first place. This work of poetry was written for Habitat for Humanity. Thank you, Habitat for Humanity, for helping others during desperate times.